Social Roles and Happy Work

I think my daughter is at a stage where she is learning, among other things, two really important aspects of living at 22 months of age: (1) social roles, and (2) how to feel and respond to different things when she is unsure. 

With regard to social roles, I've noticed that, for example, if Daddy cuts open the popsicle the first time she has one, she goes back to him to cut the next one open.  If Grandpa helps her with something, she goes back to him when she needs help with that thing.  And, since Mommy always puts her to sleep at night, Mommy is really needed at bedtime.  So that has me thinking, what are the social roles she is learning about herself?  It has been more tempting than ever since we moved to stash her away with toys, music, and activities to distract her when I need to get things done, but what is that teaching her about her role in the family?  I want her to learn that she has a contributing role in the household and then, later, in the world.  And she wants to contribute.  So I'm working on incorporating her, given her current capacities and the activities she finds the most joy in doing, into a real contributing role for our family.  One example of this is that I'm going to let her clear the table after meals.  It takes longer, but she LOVES doing it.  The other night my husband and I were just chatting away after dinner, and all of a sudden we realized that our daughter was taking my husband's plate off the table.  She took it to the counter, and then came back for more - our little munchkin cleared off the entire table.  And she loves wiping things with wet cloths, and so I need to become more mindful again about letting her wipe down the table after meals.  

As for the second point, I've noticed that she looks to me for how to respond in questionable situations.  Like, she sees something on the ground that looks interesting, but is it okay to touch?  So sometimes she points to it and declares, "Eww!!!!" looking to me for a response.  Or else she picks it up, glancing at me to see what I do.  Or with church, when we moved we had to start going to a new church.  The first Sunday, when we arrived at the strange place, she wasn't sure what she thought of being at a new church.  I tried to nurture the part of her that liked the church, though, and now she is happy to go there.  One thing I do not feel like I have done well is nurture within her a sense of joy in work.  I do not model this well - I don't like housework.  I don't do it cheerfully.  I don't do it grumpily, either, and I try to laugh and sing and be happy as we do it, but toddlers are amazingly perceptive, and I'm sure she's noticed that I'm inconsistent with getting things done, that I avoid the laundry, etc.  My parents did a really great job raising me in a lot ways, but this really wasn't one of them.  I want to do better for my child.  So one of the things I'm going to do is start our "school" time that we do in the mornings with a prayer I found in a little book we have of prayers from around the world:

Thank you, God, for this new day, 

For our work and school and play.

Please be with us all day long

In every story, game, and song.

May all the happy things we do

Make you, our Father, happy, too.

Moving

I haven't posted much recently because we are in the process of moving.  Like, today the movers loaded almost all our boxes and furniture on a truck.  It is a 3 day move, though, and so we have 2 days to go... Here are some of the activities we've done with our little one through this hectic process.

Ball down the stairs:

I completely trust my daughter with the stairs, and so I suggested she throw her ball down the stairs and run get it.  Then she did it again.  She loved the game and it was a great way for her to be physically active at a time when I couldn't be outside with her.  We added another ball to the excitement after awhile, and it was double the fun.

Washing walls:

I gave her a cleaning cloth and told her to wipe down the walls.  I was going over the walls at that point, wiping away marks from tiny sticky fingers, and she was eager to help.  Her attention didn't last terribly long with this activity, but it was just enough to get the creative juices flowing in her brain again at a rather testy moment, and she soared away to entertain herself soon afterward.

A! B! C!:

We've been in the car a lot, and when she'd get bored we'd play the A-B-C game.  I'd say A!  Then she'd say B!  We go back and forth through the alphabet.  Sometimes to get her going I'd have to do A! B! C!, but she usually chimed in after awhile.  It was good alphabet practice and it focused her mind on something other than getting out of the car.

Playing in the car's front:

Ironically, as much as she wants out of the car when she has to be in it for a long time, when we're at home she has developed a real desire to play inside the car.  Not so much the car seat, but in the front, where she never gets to be on the road.  She can entertain herself for about 45 minutes nonstop in the car, which was good when we were working on loading it up.  And it was good exploratory for her.  Lots of new things to touch and consider.

I hope to get back on track soon with my postings!  Take care.

Cooking Fun

My little one is really into pouring and putting things into new containers right now.  So today we made chocolate chip cookies.  That is an activity that involves almost nothing but pouring, stirring, and exchanging containers.  She helped me pour everything - flour, sugar, egg, etc.  I would get things ready on the counter (where she can't reach), and then I'd put the bowl on the floor and let her help hold and pour the sugar or whatever into the bowl.  When we needed to soften the butter, we put the cup of butter into the microwave together, and I had her fingers touch the buttons to make it go.  When it was time to stir, I gave her a spoon and she stirred with me.  The best was gradually adding the flour/baking soda/salt mixture (in one bowl) into the sugar mixture in a different bowl.  I put both bowls on the floor next to each other, and she used her table spoon to put little spoon-fulls of flour into the sugar mixture.  She got clever at one point and started putting the sugar mixture back into the flour!  It didn't really make things more difficult, and so I let her play.  The only difficult part was when it came time to pour in the chocolate chips - "I want chocolate!  I want chocolate!"  We had to do a new Signing Time DVD diversion at that point.  Overall, though, she enjoyed herself so much, using those skills she is most excited about right now in such a grown up way!

Cleaning up Potty Accident

My daughter just had a potty accident.  As I was getting a change of clothes for her, she grabbed some sweat pants and took them to the place where she had the accident, saying, "Clean it up. Clean it up."  She then proceeded to clean up the accident with her sweat pants.  I've never suggested she clean up her potty accident mess before - it never even occurred to me.  Now she is trying to put her new clothes on by herself.  This is too precious!  

Tea Party

We are in the process of moving, and today I discovered a tiny tea set that my mom gave to me when I was a child.  I set it up for my daughter, and we played tea.  She pretended to pour the tea, and then I added the sugar and milk.  There are 4 place settings, and so she, I, her doll, and a stuffed animal enjoyed the tea together.  After awhile, my daughter decided we needed to wash the the dishes.  I brought a pan of water into her room and placed it on a towel.  Then I got a hand towel from the kitchen, and we put the dishes in and out of the water, washing and drying them.  When we were done, we had fun just playing with the water.  I don't remember ever really wanting to playing tea when I was a child.  I think I was too old by the time I received the set.  But my 21 month old loved it.   

Wiping and Drying

The other day my daughter spilled a bottle of water all over one of her little push-toys in the playroom.  I got a towel, and I handed it to her.  "Wipe it dry!" I said - not like I was punishing her, like "You spilled it, now you have to clean it up."  But more like I positively viewed her as old enough to get to wipe it up herself.  The look on her face as I handed her the towel was priceless.  She eagerly grabbed the towel and went to work wiping it up.  When she was finished, she even put the towel back into the drawer where it belongs, opening and closing the drawer all by herself.  

This gave me the idea of letting her help dry the dishes after I've cleaned them.  She loves this job.  And she is learning as drying techniques as she does it.  I've never really thought about drying a dish as a skill, but it is clear she is working on figuring it out.  This also gives me a chance to work in the kitchen more easily, and I think it is fantastic that she is establishing habits of thinking positively about work like this as we do it together, singing and laughing.

Macaroni Pouring Play

Today I made a simple balancing scale to play with the concept of weight.  I tied and taped a small container to one end of a string and an identical container to the other end.  Then I supported the middle of the string by taping it to one of her longer blocks (I'll get pictures up).  I held the block at its middle with my finger and thumb.  We put macaroni in one of the containers, and that side, now heavier than the other, tilted downward.  Then we added macaroni to the other container, and the scale balanced.  

I was really excited about my little invention, but my daughter's greatest delight in the project actually came from playing with the macaroni.  She poured them into the containers, onto the floor, back into the macaroni box where they came from, etc., etc.  Watching her play confirmed to me that she is at a stage of development where she is both (1) really excited about pouring, and (2) really excited about cleaning up messes (depending upon the mess).  It was delightful to watch her work on both of these interests with the macaroni.  

Nurturing a Love for Work

One of the things the Montessori approach to education rightly points out is that children naturally like to work.  Not fake work, but real work.  I remember as a child having toy kitchen sets and such, but these were not nearly so exciting to me as the thought of working in the real kitchen.  Of course, things can go a lot slower for a mom with an 18 month old "helping" in the real kitchen, but I know that if I wait until she is 6 or 7 to start asking her to help, she will have to form the habits and skills of real work without the magical attraction she is naturally experiencing right now.  So these are some of the activities we do together around the house to satisfy and nurture her love for work.  

1.  Laundry.  She LOVES putting things into baskets, and so she helps me put the clothes from the closet into the laundry basket.  Then we drag the basket together to the laundry room (this requires some maneuvering, because stairs are involved, but we make it work).  She hands me the clothes piece by piece and I put them into the washer.  (This typically only lasts through about 5 pieces of clothing before she begins to explore other parts of the laundry room, and because the point is for her to LIKE it, I don't push her too much).  She also helps me take the clothes out of the dryer and put them into the basket again.  We drag the basket to the living room, where I fold the clothes, and then she carries them to put them into the proper closet or chest of drawers (with me right beside her, otherwise the clothes have been known to end up in places like the cabinet below the sink in the bathroom).

2.  Kitchen.  Before dinner, she helps set the table by putting one napkin at each spot.  After dinner, if her dad or someone is with me, he will give her one item off the table at a time to bring to me, and I receive it and put it away.  She gets such a kick out of this, which makes it more fun for me, as well.  I also give her a wipe rag and she helps wipe a little section of the table for me.  (Then she'll, like, take the rag and wipe the carpet with it or something).  When making dinner, she gets little jobs.  Like, when we make something with pasta, she gets to pour the pasta into the water (I hold and guide her hand carefully).  When making pizza crust or bread, she gets to help pat and squeeze the dough (and give it kisses for added sweetness).  

3.  Vacuuming.  She LOVES vacuum time.  I've never vacuumed so much in my life as I do with my toddler around, because she likes it so much and it is such an easy way of keeping the living area from getting too messy.  I just say, "Let's vacuum!  Pick everything up off the floor!  Up!  Up!  Let's clean up!"  I mostly pick the stuff up, but I will also point to a specific toy, tell her where it goes, walk with her to the location, point to the location, and watch her put it there.  She helps me pull the chairs away from the dining room table, one by one, so I can clean under there.  Then she plays on the chairs or with some toy she found while we were picking things up while I vacuum, and when I'm done she helps pull the chairs back where they go.  

I would love to learn how other people have their toddlers help around the house!   

Playing with Dirt

Yesterday we took outside into the front yard my daughter's sand shovel, pick, and bucket, along with a booster seat tray, some water in another bucket, a towel, and a cleaning sponge.  We dug up some dirt with the pick and shovel, and we dumped the dirt into the bucket.  When we had enough dirt, we poured the dirt from the bucket onto the tray and examined what we saw:  ants, rocks, dirt, etc.  When we were done, we poured some water onto the tray and I let her use the sponge to wipe it clean (she tried really hard, and she almost did it completely).  Then I finished the cleaning and we wiped it with a towel.  Then we repeated the process.  Throughout the activity, we also saw two beautiful butterflies, looked amazed at some leaves, and saw some other insects, as well.

My goals in doing this with her were (1) to give her a chance to observe, feel, and interact with real dirt (not just sand in a sandbox), (2) to give her a chance to practice her cleaning skills - there is something satisfying about actually seeing a surface change colors from dirty to clean when you wipe it, and wiping dirt definitely has that effect, (3) develop her pouring and scooping coordination (she's really into that right now - that is why I had her both scoop the dirt into the bucket and then pour the dirt from the bucket onto the tray) and (4) to grow in her understanding of the goodness of this world God has made.